May 15
Dear Mom:
How I miss you! Suddenly the living room looks if it were for rent. I said to myself the day you left home, "Five minus one still leaves four; I won't mind." But that's not true. I do mind, Mom.
You said it's not because you don't love us but because you want to fix Papa. Just what has Papa done, Mom? How would you fix him? Tell me, Mom, I'll help you fix him. To be frank, Mom, I long have wanted to fix Papa. I'll do exactly as you say.
You know the address of Wang Kuo-ying. Send your letters to her and she'll give them to me.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
May 17
Dear Hsiao-jung:
I'll tell you why I walked out on your Papa. You've been to the Lins. You must have noticed how Uncle Lin treats Auntie Lin. The slightest hint from Auntie Lin about a pain in her chest would send Uncle Lin out for a doctor. You must have seen how much Auntie Yu means to Uncle Yu. With his bottles of red, white and green pills he is alert as a mother to detect the hint of a cough or a sniffle.
Now think of your Papa. That morning I said, casually, that it was time to get my hair tinted. If Auntie had said that, Uncle Lin would have been off and running for a taxi. But your Papa stared at me with those big eyes as if I were a cow out of pasture. "Tint your hair?" he said. "What difference does it make whether your hair is white or green?" Hsiao-jung, I can see he would be glad if I looked like a polar bear. He treats me like a cow and doesn't care what I look like. I'll fix him good!
How to fix him? Very simple. Let him worry. Let him find out he needs and misses me. Let him look for me. Maybe his work won't be so important then.
Write and tell me everything. Has your Papa shown remorse? Has he wept? Who looks after you? I can imagine what a mess the house is. I hope your Papa will realize that he is responsible.
I miss you as much as you miss me.
Mama
P.S.: How dare you say such an outrageous thing as you want to fix Papa. Your Papa is your Papa, no matter what he did to Mama.
May 19
Dear Mom:
Here is my report:
1. Every morning Papa does his five-minute deep-breathing exercises in the front yard.
2. His new way of sleeping is to stretch his arms and legs all over the bed where you used to sleep. He looks like an octopus but sleeps soundly.
3. He works overtime almost every day.
4. He doesn't look remorseful.
5. We've gotten used to the food he gives us—fish and potatoes and bean sprouts, chop-suey, and so on. It's really not so bad.
6. He doesn't bother us about our school work very often. "Come on, kids, let's play chess," he often urges. Whether we win or lose, he gives each of us a dollar.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
P.S.: 1. I have a reason for fixing Papa. I'll tell you in my next letter.
2. "Whether Papa has wept is something I still have to find out.
May 21
Dear Hsiao-jung:
Your report did not come as a surprise. He doesn't miss me. He isn't remorseful. Okay, I expected this. I think we have to be a little tactful. Let's try a little trick. Buy a newspaper that has a big column of classified ads. Point to the ads for missing persons and say to Papa, "Pa, Mama has been gone for many days. Why don't you advertise for her?" I'll be interested to know how he reacts. Then we'll decide what to do next.
Mama
May 24
Dear Mom:
First of all I'll tell you the awful thing Papa did to me.
It was about a year ago. Do you remember our school art exhibition and the big clay toad that was my masterpiece? It was really Papa's work.
I had taken the chunk of clay home but couldn't make a thing out of it. I had to seek Papa's help.
"You are doing the right thing, Hsiao-jung," Papa said, beaming. "I just happen to be a great artist." With a few deft twists of his fingers, that toad came to life. With buttons for eyes and a green paint job, it fooled everybody. I got more compliments than anyone else.
The big day came. Papa showed up among all the elegantly dressed parents wearing old khaki pants, muddy shoes and a sports shirt. I was so ashamed that I pretended not to know him. Then his voice boomed from the other side of the room: "Hsiao-jung, where's the big toad I made for you?" The toad grimaced wickedly and I ran home as fast as I could.
Now you know why I want to fix Papa.
I'm glad you ran away. I'm getting a little wordy. I'll write again after I've tried out your tactics.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
May 25
Dear Mom:
Papa is working overtime again. He won't be home until about 9.
He gave us each money for a bowl of noodles. Elder brother was still hungry and I had to loan him some for a second bowl. Who will pay me back - you or Papa?
Now about your tricks. I did just as you said. I bought the newspaper and spread it out before Papa. I pointed to the ads and said: "Papa, Ma left home some days ago. We've heard nothing from her. How about putting an ad in the paper to find out where she is?"
He looked at the column closely straining his eyes. He got interested and put on his glasses to read an ad. "Tsh, Tsh," he said.
"This ad is about some poor crazy woman who ran away. Her family is worried for her safety and is trying to find her. A sad case ... "
"But what about Mama?" I blurted. "Huh? Oh, her. She'll be all right. She's at Uncle's house in Hsinchu. She'll come back when she's got over her mad."
Then I said, "Pa, you are unfair. You made her too angry and she had to go. Please take a day off and go to get her. Please, Pa."
"Who makes who angry?" Papa asked. "She was angry and she ran away. I was angry and I stayed home. She has two strong legs. They will carry her home when she's ready:'
I must stop. I hear footsteps out front. It's Papa and he's singing. I know it's Papa because the singing is so lousy.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
P.S.: I hate to tell you, Mom, but I flunked the monthly exam. Maybe you had better come home. Papa doesn't make us study hard enough. But we are not so smart as he, so we don't do well without cramming. I guess we take after you.
May 27
Dear Hsiao-jung:
You are responsible for your failure in the examination. You must study harder.
Papa only makes me more and more angry. For 20 long years I have pinched pennies to make a good home for him and you children. On the pay of a government servant you have to count the grains of rice. Does he appreciate my hard work? Not a bit of it. Two legs, indeed! I'll cut them off before I walk back to him.
And you poor children-three bowls of noodles! Thank goodness you aren't sick. Next time go over to your Uncle Lin's. Thinking of Uncle Lin makes me more angry with Papa. Why didn't your Papa go into business like Uncle Lin? If we had a TV, refrigerator, and new furniture, maybe I wouldn't mind my gray hair so much.
Well, my trick failed. Your Papa is a rock and a clod. This time pretend you are sick. When Papa brings you a glass of milk, push it away. When Papa gives you medicine, refuse it. Tell him you need Mama to take care of you.
Mama
May 28
Dear Hsiao-jung:
It's raining and a little windy. I have nothing to do and so shall write you again. When I think I only get angrier with your Papa.
Remember typhoon Gloria. The house was ankle-deep in water when your Papa picked up his umbrella and announced he was going to the office. "What if the water keeps rising?" I asked him. "Do what you think is best," he said and waded out. How unfeeling can a man be? I should have done what was best before I married such a brute.
But it's not too late. We'll fix your Papa yet. Be sure to play your role well. He must know how important Mama is to the family. Tel1 me everything in your next letter.
Mama
May 31
Dear Mom:
I'm sorry, Mom. Your tactics failed again.
Papa is a tough rock. I did as you told me. I pretended to have a fever. Then I refused the milk he brought me and called for you. Papa smiled and said, "In that case, I can see you are not very sick. When I was your age, I didn't care where the milk came from. Milk is milk. Mamas aren't important to the milk drinking business." He screwed up his face in that funny grimace and I couldn't but laugh. I don't know what made me do it, but I jumped out of bed and drank the milk in a gulp. "Pa," I said, "I'm all right now." You see?
Papa is no longer interested in playing chess with us. He shuts himself in his room, sometimes for hours. I was curious to know what he was doing. So I peered in. He was reading a book.
I'm sorry my report is not more encouraging. What shall I do now?
With love,
Hsiao-jung
June 2
Dear Hsiao-jung:
Before I suggest anything new, find out what book your Papa is reading. And keep an eye on his social activities.
Mama
June 5
Dear Mom:
I was disappointed when I found out what Papa was reading. It's "The Election Handbook".
Papa is a polling plan supervisor for the city election June 8. Is that a big job, Mom? I hope he won't disappoint us this time. Maybe you can fix your hair and we can get a TV if he gets a promotion. Aren't you excited?
With love,
Hsiao-jung
June 9
Dear Mom:
Why don't you write? Are you sick?
If you only know how worried I am. We need you. May I come to Hsinchu to bring you home?
Papa has been preoccupied with the election. Besides reading the handbook, he has been out visiting and making phone calls. He seemed to be supporting one of the candidates.
Yesterday was the big day. Papa shouted for us to get up. "You are a voter," he told elder brother. "Be sure you vote for the virtuous and the capable." Then he turned to me and said, "You will bring me lunch and supper and a thermos of tea." "Are you going to jail, Pa?" I asked. "No," he announced as solemnly as a judge, "as a supervisor, I cannot leave until the ballots are counted."
By now you have read about the election in the paper. Papa's candidate lost to ... what's his name? ... oh, yes, Chien (money). They say it's too bad, because the man Papa calls "virtuous and capable" is really a good fellow. Elder brother didn't vote for him. When he saw Papa was so dejected, he said, "I'm sorry, Pa, I didn't know it meant so much to you."
Papa didn't scold him. He said: "Let's forget it," and produced $30. "Ten each," he said, "do whatever you like with the money. It's clean money from my work as a supervisor."
Mom, isn't Papa an honest and wonderful man? I don't see why you don't come home as fast as you can to console him.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
June 11
Dear Hsiao-jung:
You were building a castle in the air.
That's why I didn't write sooner. I hated to break your pretty bubble. Do you still feel like shouting "Long live the poll super visor"? Why should your Papa care who our mayor is? Him with only $30 and not enough for a decent meal.
Well, everything else has failed. So now you can tell Papa you have heard from me and I have a good job as accountant in the factory of K. L. Wang who was your father's rival. The pay is double Papa's. You tell him that. I can imagine how angry he will get. Maybe he will bring you all to Hsinchu with him.
I enclose $20. You'll need some pocket money on the train.
Mama
June 13
Dear Mom:
You remember the saying, "What you lose in Tungyu may be a gain in Sangyuan." At last, things look better.
Papa isn't working overtime and he's always smiling. We have plenty of money for food. Papa is often with Uncle Chien. They seem very friendly. Mom, our life has a new turn.
I've just received your letter of the 11th. Thanks for the money. But I don't think it's necessary to resort to the third trick. Come home, Mom; we're waiting for you.
I hear a car. Maybe it's Uncle Chien coming to see Papa.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
June 15
Dear Hsiao-jung:
You are a high school student now.
You are supposed to be sensible and talk sensibly. Why has changed? How is life to be better? I don't understand about the money or this man Chien.
What has your Papa been up to? Maybe Chien is the man who came to see your Papa on New Year's Eve. You must remember that Papa said the man was not "our sort" and returned his gift unopened.
This is a bad sign, my child. Let me hear from you right away.
Mama
P. 5.: Meanwhile you had better carry out our third move with Papa.
June 17
Dear Mom:
1. Sorry, Mom, very sorry. Your third trick backfired. Papa didn't jump up and grab me for a race to the train. He laughed and said not to worry, that the factory closed two years ago. Mom, why don't you find out before you tell such lies?
2. You're right about one thing. Uncle Chien is the man who came to see Papa at New Year's. He is a brother of the new mayor.
3. Mom, you can't imagine how happy we are now. Behind Uncle Chien's Cadillac was a truck. I guess you could call it my "dream truck". The men unloaded a big refrigerator, a TV set and a new sofa and chairs.
How we shouted with happiness, the three of us.
4. Papa is happy because we are happy. Now he is mixing ice cream powder to freeze. I hope the ice cream will be ready for supper.
5. Well, I guess I'll watch TV and sip some cold juice. How nice! Maybe I can't write as often now. Too much is happening around here.
With love,
Hsiao-jung
June 19
Dear Hsiao-jung:
Yes, you must be happy. But I can't understand Papa-running his fingers down the cold body of the new refrigerattor. Your Papa has always been an honest man. What has happened to him now?
I had a number of admirers before I married your Papa. Some were rich. Why did I choose your rock of a Papa to marry? Because he is a rock, because nobody can shake his convictions about what is right and wrong. In all these years he has never yielded to temptation. His word to live by has always been "Chih ku and kung cho" (endure hardship and work).
What has turned his head? Where have all these new things come from? What is the price he paid for the TV, refrigerator and furniture? Yes, I know, I am to blame for having gone away. Maybe he will really lose his mind and leave us. I must take ac tion immediately. As soon as I'm home, I'll send those dirty gifts back to that man you call "Uncle Chien". I will be on the 2: 30 train tomorrow afternoon.
But don't think your Papa has won. I'm coming home to fix him. You'll see.
Mama
June 20
Dearest Mom:
Welcome home and thank you for your special delivery letter! Your daughter pays her deepest respects to her beloved Mama!
I'm not going to mail this letter. I'll leave it on the small table in the hall so you'll see it as you come in.
You will quickly find there is no TV, no new refrigerator, and just the same old furniture.
I'm sorry, Mom, I only did as Papa told me. He said he understands you. You are not a lamb to take orders from a husband. So he had to resort to his own little trick. He said you will feel better when you know nothing has changed.
We are all in the kitchen preparing supper for you. We've composed a song and the four of us will sing it to you. It's called MAMA IS HOME AGAIN!
With love,
Hsiao-jung
(Translated and abridged by S. C. Chou)