The hill commanded a good view of the grim sea. But it was foggy that day. All I could see was the grayish-white mist. Maybe from 500 or 600 feet down I could hear the waves dashing against the rocks, splashing and foaming.
If it hadn't been for the foul weather, I would not have been caught here in this lousy place. My watch was gone—stolen probably—and I had no idea of the time but guessed it must be noon. It was barely dawn when my small boat hit the reef. No sooner were we tumbled onto the beach than a gang of ruffians swarmed around us. In the fight my boatman was killed and I was knocked unconscious. Now I was bound to a pillar of rock high above the sea.
An armed guard stood nearby, although I was tightly bound. As the fog started to lift, I twisted my neck and caught a glimpse of the island—a dinosaur looming up from the restless ocean. The protruding head faced northeast. Somewhere around the waist was a flat strip sparsely dotted with houses. It was against the dinosaur's left leg that my bathtub-sized craft had met its destiny.
My hands and legs were growing numb because of the tightness of the ropes, and my neck was painfully rigid. The back of my head ached from the blow I had been struck.
The guard turned a deaf ear to my questions. Finally I shut up and looked into the sky. God's will would be done.
After a while I heard the sound of boots scuffing the rocky soil of the hilltop. Craning my neck, I could see several men walking toward me. In the lead was a bearded bear of a man who looked to be in his late 30s. From his commanding air and the demeanor of the other three, I could tell he was their chief. He wore a pistol and a dagger at his belt.
"Hey, you!" the bearded man called.
"Are you talking to me?" I said as coldly as I could.
The bear's eyes glittered.
"No one can come to my island without my permission. The trespasser's punishment is death. No choice. No exception."
"Your men saw with their own eyes that my boat struck the reef. I'm no trespasser."
"You are worse! Maybe you think you can spy on me?"
"I'm nobody's spy. Let me explain ... " My eyes met his and they were cold as ice. A mocking smile played around the corners of his mouth. He gestured me to be quiet. "Think a minute before you decide how to die. If you are a good swimmer, leap into the sea. You may still have a chance!" I said resolutely: "No!"
"You don't like the sea?"
"No!"
"But I don't like to waste a bullet." He made another gesture and said: "Unfasten him."
"Is this justice?" I demanded.
He grinned viciously.
"Unfair? Eight months ago, the Communists killed eight members of my family. Only I escaped death. And you talk of justice!"
As the men untied the ropes, I breathed easier. He might be unreasonable and insolent, but he was no Communist.
"Then we are of the same mind," I said. "Last night I fled the mainland and put my trust in the sea and a boat."
"Say what you like. I trust no one."
"You coward; you are afraid of me," I cried desperately. "You are worse than a Communist. You are a pirate, a good-for-nothing villain."
He put his face in front of my nose and grinned again.
"Right, I'm a pirate. But if there are people I'm afraid of, you are not one of them."
"Sure, you're brave because you have a gun. I haven't a chance, but you won't even let me explain."
"Same chance the Communists gave me," he explained and gestured his men to take me to the edge of the cliff.
"You murderer, you're as inhuman as the Communists... killing a wounded doctor. "
He turned abruptly.
"Wait a minute." He grabbed shoulder my and whirled me around. "Did you say doctor?"
"I refuse to answer a pirate," I said indignantly. He raised his right hand but didn't strike me. Instead he told his men to untie my hands and take me to his house which turned out to be the ruins of a temple. I was left alone with him in a room with a crude bare table and four stools. On the bare walls were eight guns and on the floor several cases of ammunition.
He scrutinized me briefly, then poured me a cup of tea. I was too tired to protest further. I took the cup, almost gratefully.
"Are you really a doctor?"
"Yes, before the Communists took away my life."
"Any proof?"
"If you had not killed the boatman he would be my witness."
The huge man knitted his brows in a sullen scowl. Then his look softened a little.
"Don't think I enjoy killing. My brothers and I must live. Our experience with the Communists has taught us that there is no one in the world we can trust."
I said: "Many think as you do. Once I thought so, too. But it's wrong. The Communists may possess the power to change people's lives but not their hearts."
"Before I came here, my friends said the same thing. Well ... " he shrugged and spread his enormous hands. "What of it? What can I say? Nothing has any meaning any more ... "
I thought I heard a sigh.
"Everything has gone wrong," he said. Suddenly he looked up and said: "Doctor, I believe in you. I've changed my mind; I'm not going to kill you. Tell me about yourself."
So I told him—how being a doctor I was not political, and how I had managed to keep out of the Communists' clutches until I took Father Hoover under my care. I cured his ulcer and thereupon was proclaimed "the people's public enemy" of the Communists.
"Father Hoover! I know him. You must be from Putien in Fukien."
"I was put in jail," I said. "Then the guerrillas took the city. They set all the prisoners free."
"But when you took in Father Hoover you knew you would offend the Communists. Why did you do it?"
"Because I consider it my duty to cure people. I don't care who the patient is."
His face brightened. "Then you would not say no if I asked for your professional services. "
"Certainly not," I said. "I just don't like to be coerced into things."
"Okay, doctor, let's be friends." He held out his hand. "Just call me Great Beard Wang." I told him my name was Lin.
"Welcome to our island, Dr. Lin," he said. "I'll see that your boat is pulled in. Maybe we can do something, if it's not in fragments." He suggested that I get some rest and left me alone. In no time at all I was fast asleep on his bed.
When I woke, two men came in with food. My watch had been returned. It was late in the afternoon.
"I hope the rest has restored your spirits, Dr. Lin." It was Wang. He gestured for me to finish eating, and told me to make myself at home. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like you to see a patient."
"A patient?" I said. "Didn't you promise to take a patient under your care?" he asked.
"Of course, provided you have medicines and the instruments of my profession."
Wang said they had intercepted a boat carrying medical supplies two months ago.
"One of our men used to be nurse on the mainland. So we have a kind of a clinic. Shall we go?"
I followed Wang. Together and silently we walked along the ridge of the island. It was almost barren—a few stunted trees and some scraggly bushes and weeds. But among the rocks along the cliffs, narcissus were growing radiantly. I looked at their loveliness with pleasure.
A cottage came into sight. The nurse was already there and had everything ready for me. My patient was a gaunt wisp of a girl with lustrous but uncombed raven-black hair flowing over the pillow. Her lips were scorched by fever and she was delirious. Great Beard wanted me to do something immediately. I took her pulse and temperature, and listened to her heart and lungs. She was as fair as the narcissus-but a very sick girl. I was fairly sure it was pneumonia following in the wake of some other infection. I gave her a first shot of penicillin and prescribed sulfadiazine. There was no oxygen but I thought her young strength would pull her through.
"Is it very serious?" asked Wang. I told him it was but that I was confident of her recovery.
"Please, Dr. Lin, please save her life. I'll pay you, I'll pay you well."
I looked at him coldly. "We are not Communists," I said. "I'm a doctor, and I care for the sick without thought of my fee."
Wang seized my hands in gratitude. "But you must let me do what I can for you."
I said the one thing I wanted was to get to the free land.
"You mean Taiwan?"
"Yes, that's where I'm going," said I. "Freedom is as precious to me as the patient is to you."
"We'll see, after she's better," he said. "Father Hoover could not be wrong. And I have to trust you."
He told me to go on to his house, and said he would go back to the clinic. I was to use his room, he added.
"Just a moment," I said. "Tell the nurse to make sure Mrs. Wang has plenty of fluids:'
"Mrs. Wang?"
"Wasn't the patient your wife?"
"Listen," Wang snapped, "there are things you had better keep your nose out of."
"Okay," I shrugged. "But I'm a doctor. I should find out as much about my patient as lean."
"But not about family matters," Wang said.
"All right, go on to your girl friend," I said. He looked at me blackly, but said nothing as he turned and strode away.
The wind had stopped and the sky was clear. Dusk was turning the east into a grizzled blue. Sunset was hemming the west with carmine and gold. The narcissus looked more beautiful than before.
Wang told me his story that night in the dim light of the oil lamp.
He was from Fukien and a friend of Father Hoover.
"How did you come to know him?"
"I was a captain during the Sino-Japanese War. When the Communists seized Foochow, I was on home leave and couldn't get to Taiwan. I was at the mercy of the bloody bandits. Then I heard I was listed for liquidation. The Communists killed my parents and my brothers and sisters—eight in all. I could do nothing, but I escaped to Putien in disguise."
By sheer chance he ran into Father Hoover.
"Where? In his church. It was a gloomy day. I felt depressed and suddenly thought of his God. Perhaps his God could help me. So I went to the church. Father Hoover was there. After listening to my story, he prayed. He, too, was watched by the Communists but promised help. He introduced me to his friend, Chen Ta-chi, an old fisherman. For many days I hid, waiting for a chance."
"Chen knew everything?"
"Yes, and he was very sympathetic. He promised to take me along when he went deep sea fishing. Chen was a widower. He had a daughter, Fengku, and they were good to me. I fell in love with Fengku at first sight. And I think she had begun to love me. Then her father was killed in the fight with the Communists."
"So, you had trouble in the escape?"
Wang went on with his story. Chen had decided to get away, too, and take his daughter, but he didn't tell her, lest she be frightened. The Communists recruited 10 fishing boats to carry ammunition to an island. Chen's boat was among them. The trip was to be made at night. Two armed guards were assigned to each boat. Wang and Chen decided to act; it would be two against two. The guards were killed but Chen was fatally wounded. Wang and Fengku had reached the island.
Wang paused.
"So you came here and settled down with Fengku?"
"No, no, not that simple. We got here all right. There were already about a dozen refugees on the island. With a boatload of ammunition, we didn't have to start from scratch. I trained the men and became their leader. Fengku and I buried Chen. But she still doesn't know Chen had decided to come with me. She thinks I talked him into taking me along and that I am to blame for his death. She refused to listen to me and shut herself in the cottage."
I looked at Wang gravely.
"I understand everything. You cannot win love. So you turn to hatred. Fengku hates you because of love for her father. You hate people and attack them because of your unrequited love. You hate the whole world, don't you?"
Wang held his head in his hands.
"If you only knew, if you only knew what love could do to a man. I have suffered so much, so much... I care nothing for myself. Life no longer has any meaning for me. What do I care for other people?"
"But you are wrong, both of you. It's all right for you to love. It's true you've done wrong. But at the bottom of the trouble are the Communists."
"Yes, you're right. I know that, too. But you know, I have not been myself. I ... I really don't know. I have killed recklessly, the Communists and whoever else ran into me. You are right; I'm a scoundrel, a pirate. But what can I do?"
"Wang," I said, patting him on the shoulder. "I have never been sentimentally involved with the fair sex. All I know is what I read in fiction. As a doctor I have no time for love. What I have loved are the country and my family. But if hatred has not destroyed what is good in a person, why should love?"
At first he looked puzzled. Then his face lit up. "Do you mean you will explain to her'!"
"As soon as she can listen to me. She must get well first." I knew I would have to fabricate a convincing story to tell her.
Fengku's fever abated and she came out of her delirium. As soon as she could talk, I spoke of Father Hoover and told her I also had been a friend of her father.
"Really: But why haven't I seen you before."
"It's because you were sick. But you must remember the Lin Hospital in Fou Shou Street."
"I think so but I'm not sure."
"Your father came to see me for his rheumatism. We often talked over a cup of wine. If we didn't feel like drinking, we would go over to the church to talk to Father Hoover."
"I have never known a better man. Is Father Hoover all right?"
I said I thought he was for the time being. When I started to leave she asked me to stay and talk longer. She turned her lovely eyes on me, and my heart leapt a little. Then I thought of Wang and left with an abrupt "Good night".
She recovered rapidly. She was young and radiant, beautiful yet unspoiled—a narcissus of that barren island.
One day I asked her to take me to her father's grave "to pay my respects to an old friend". I laid a bouquet of narcissus on the mound and started spinning the rest of my story.
"It was at Father Hoover's church that your father talked about his plan of escape. It was then that ... "
"My father planned to escape? Why ... he never said anything to me."
"He loved you too much, Fengku. He didn't want to alarm you. Both Father Hoover and Wang agreed with him. It was through Father Hoover that your father and Wang came to know each other. And it was Father Hoover who worked out the plan—he thought Wang was just the man to carry it through. I was supposed to be included, too, but the Communists sent me to Foochow."
"Oh, good heavens," Fengku was still puzzled. "Is it true that my father wanted to escape? But why, why didn't he let me know? Why? Why?"
"Out of love, Fengku, and for discretion. If you had been nervous, you might have spoiled everything." Fengku fixed her eyes on me. She said: "Was it really Father Hoover who introduced that man (she meant Wang) to Papa?"
"Oh, yes, because he is reliable and trustworthy, young and strong—just the sort to deal with the Communists."
"But I ... I had thought it was he who ... "
"Now, Fengku," I interrupted, "what did your father say to you that night?"
Fengku looked sadly at the sea.
"I can't remember everything. Father was nervous and restless. He wanted me to remain at the oar. He said: 'Keep plying the oar; whatever may happen, it's none of your business.'"
"I see. What next?"
"The fight. I hardly heard the shots. One of the Communists was stabbed and fell into the sea. But the other struggled and got his pistol out. The bullet pierced Father's chest. But Wang shot the Communist and pushed him overboard. Then he bent to rowing and we came here."
"Now you know Great Beard is not a wicked man. Hasn't he always been good to you?"
"He ... he grew the beard after he came here."
''Try to be kind to him, won't you, Fengku? You don't hate him now, do you?"
She didn't hesitate.
"Yes, I do hate him. I hate and despise him with all my heart. What has he become? A pirate, a mad god of the sea, a beastly killer, worse than the Communists."
"Oh, no. Fengku, you are unfair. You don't even give him a chance to explain. Do you know how worried be was when you were sick?"
Fengku remained unconvinced. "Dr. Lin, you are too partial to Wang."
"Only because he is not a wicked man, and he is young and vigorous. We need such men to restore the mainland and free our brothers and sisters. Fengku, tell me, do you love as well as hate?"
Fengku blushed. Her eyes were fixed on her feet.
"I don't know," she said in a low voice. It was all I could do.
"Obey your heart, Fengku. If you really hate Great Beard, you can come to Taiwan with me. Otherwise you will know what is best."
On my way back to the house, Wang emerged from behind a rock where he had been waiting for me. I anticipated his questions and decided to satisfy my own needs first.
"I can't wait any longer," I said. "Has my boat been repaired?" He pointed to my small dinghy; it was on the beach. Several men were working on it. Beside it was a new and fully rigged sailing vessel.
"What are your requirements?" asked Great Beard.
"Just the small boat and two of your men with a gun." He pointed to the sailing vessel and asked me if it would do.
"Do you mean you'll let me use this boat?" He nodded sadly. He said the boat had cost the lives of six of his men.
"It was a terrible fight. We've paid dearly for it. You like it?"
"A fine boat," I said. "But a little too big for three."
"Now, let's get down to business," he said. "You've talked to Fengku. Will she go with you or stay here?"
"Go and ask her yourself—like a lover and not a killer. I've done what I could."
"Lin! Lin!" His eyes lit up and there was a tremor in the hands that clasped mine. Then he was off and making for the cottage.
I reached Taiwan without incident, and the years came and went. From the papers and other sources I learned of the saga of Wang and his men—surprise attacks on coastal garrisons of the mainland and the interception of Communist vessels. Of Fengku I heard nothing. But who speaks of the wives of heroes?
Then a friend of mine was sent to Great Beard's island on a medical mission. In my clinic and over a cup of tea I said: "I told you of the bearded man and the narcissus girl. What of them now?"
"Certainly, Lin, but I must say the island is entirely different now. At the head of what you called the dinosaur is a white lighthouse glistening in the sun under the blue sky. Beneath the waist are big guns and a fortress of concrete. In the harbor is a small flotilla of coastal raiders. I couldn't find the old temple. There are neat stone houses. Of course, I saw the narcissus."
"And Great Beard and the narcissus girl?"
"Great Beard is gone. The handsome leader is clean-shaven and on his shoulders are the insignia of a colonel."
"And Fengku, what of Fengku?"
"Be patient and I'll get to her. I talked with the colonel about the island's situation and its needs. When I mentioned your name, his face broke into a smile and he invited me to lunch at his house. As we neared the small neat cottage, he called: 'Fengku, Fengku!' She came running out, as lovely as you said, and hand in hand with her was a girl of three—also a beauty. Look, here's a picture."
"Wonderful, wonderful," I exclaimed. Yes, the picture showed she was exquisite still, and the child was made in her image.
"And the colonel is happy now?"
"He told me to tell you he will never forget what you said about love and hate, and that it's true."
"But the credit is Fengku's," I said. "She made it come out that way."
My friend smiled. "Yes, I guess you're right. We're all human. Only when we are capable of loving can we make hatred bear edible fruit."
"The only justifiable reason for hating must be love. We cannot stop at killing and destroying. We must repair and build." My friend also said that when the great day of mainland recovery came we would go to the island, grow narcissus all over, and make the flowers as famous as Japan's cherry blossoms.
"Narcissus ... narcissus, yes," I said. Once again, I saw them swaying gently in the evening breeze against a backdrop of carmine, blue, and gold.
—translated and adapted by Ernest Yen