The Chinese are a humor-loving people. Their 4,000-year-old culture has instilled in them the virtues of calmness in the face of danger, humility in the exercise of power, dignity in poverty and modesty amidst wealth. They have been molded by their culture to scorn the temptations of envy, intolerance, greed, false pride and all weaknesses which thwart their spiritual growth. With such habitized attitudes, the Chinese people find it natural to laugh at their own absurdities and to find amusement in grotesque situations which confront themselves or others.
To many Chinese, humor is a form of defense. When confronted by situations which are beyond their power to remedy or overcome, they acquire strength through the invention of stories which ridicule the situation and its participants. Thus, many of the henpecked husband stories were originally written by men who were in fear of their wives and yet dared not speak out against them. The story was designed to bring shame to the masterful wife. The harassed husband found relief by telling the joke in the presence of his spouse.
Chinese traditionally resented the magistrates under whom they served in olden times. To downgrade the magistrate, they found delight in inventing henpecked husband stories about him to portray his actual weakness.
An old Chinese tale illustrates this amusing trait. A secretary had an altercation with his wife and received a scratched face. When he explained his appearance to his chief at the office, he related that he had been sitting under a grapevine support. It had fallen and caused the scratch marks. Hearing this story, the magistrate heard the voice of an angry woman behind the screen and knew what was coming. He immediately remarked that his grapevine support was about to fall.
Preoccupation of the Chinese with humor was early noted by Occidental travelers who visited the Middle Kingdom and became acquainted with spoken Chinese. Early books of travel are rich in stories about the Chinese love of jokes or japes. They noted that whenever Chinese came together socially, their meetings were enlivened with jests and amusing twists of speech.
One of the lures of the tea house in pre-Communist China was the opportunity to sit around the table exchanging jokes. It was in the tea houses that Chinese social life was centered for thousands of years. Thus in Soochow, which used to be known as the Venice of the Far East, there were hundreds of tea houses, large and small, where the best grades of green tea and pastries were served by swift-moving waiters. From morning to evening visitors filled the tea houses listening to the jokes and wisecracks of the professional story tellers. The rooms rocked with laughter when someone scored a good point.
Joke-making in China became an art. Enterprising sidewalk publishers would collect jokes and humorous sayings and issue them for sale in cheap editions. The existence of this market encouraged the writing of humorous sketches and verses by indigent scholars and scribes. During the war against Japan, the Chinese Government Information Office used the tea houses in interior China as a medium for the dissemination of propaganda. Information spread in the tea houses would rapidly go on to the countryside by word of mouth. Lacking radios and beyond the reach of newspapers, the country people depended upon tea house gossip and conversation for their news.
There are historical explanations for the popularity of jokes among the Chinese people. China has been the victim of repeated civil wars, social upheavals and foreign invasions. In succession the Huns, Tibetans, Turks, Mongols, Manchus and some modern powers left their imprint. Living under foreign rule, the Chinese were denied a settled life or any freedom of thought or expression. They found an outlet for their pent-up emotions and thoughts in fantasies and humor. Their bitter inner feelings were sugar-coated by the cryptic language of the joke. The people could jest about social incongruities without calling down upon their heads the vigilance of the police or the wrath of the mighty.
During the Manchu period, the Chinese were required to shave their hair short on both sides of their heads and to braid the remainder into a queue. They resented this bitterly, but they had to obey under penalty of beheading. The situation produced its inevitable humorous reaction. Someone beyond the reach of the Manchus, outside the Great Wall, composed a few lines of humorous verse of satirical nature. Roughly translated it was as follows: "Shave my hair as you like, but the head is still my own. Please take a look at the barber. He shaves his head also, but the shaving is done by others." Behind the light words, there was a revolutionary thought. It passed from mouth to mouth. The Manchu regime was finally overthrown in 1911.
Geography was a factor in joke-making. The great extremes of climate, culture and topography in the different parts of a country as extensive as China gave rise to many regional jests. Travelers from other parts of the country would find humor in the contrasting customs and would express it in jokes.
Differing dialects inspired many jests, most of which would be unintelligible to those who do not speak Chinese. Here is one of general appeal:
A man from South China once journeyed to Peking. He asked his Northern servant to buy a bamboo pole (Chu-kan) as a dress hanger. The servant returned with a pig liver (Chu-kan). The master was annoyed and asked, "Where are your ears?" The servant, who had asked the butcher for a pair of pig's ears as a bonus, thought his master was asking about this cumshaw. He made haste to answer, "The pig's ears are here also. They were free of charge."
Westerners living under conditions to which the Chinese are inured would explode into rage or fury. The Chinese, with their racial wisdom, have learned the wisdom of turning their frustrations into jokes and wisecracks. Philosophic minded as a race, they have cultivated the habit of laughing over the absurd. They have learned that they live longer that way. In this way the Chinese are the opposites of totalitarian peoples, who must repress their feelings for expediency's sake. The Chinese have learned the curative power of humor. They have also found its survival value in times of subjection.
The earliest Chinese statesman who had a strong sense of humor was the great historian Sze-ma Chien, who lived between 140 and 85 B.C. or during the reign of Emperor Wu Ti of the Han dynasty. One of the unique features of Sze-ma Chien's book is his biography of satirists. Oftentimes it is difficult to draw the line between true satire and joking.
The best known satirist was Shu-yu Kwun, who lived in the age of the Warring Kingdoms: 770 to 255 B.C. Through his good advice, the Kingdom of Chi, when attacked by a neighboring country, was saved. The King of Chi gave an elaborate dinner in his honor and asked him how much wine he could drink. The satirist replied, "I can become drunk with one barrel and I can also become drunk with one bottle." Asked for an explanation of this double talk, he said, "In the presence of your majesty, with such formality to be observed, I would become drunk after drinking one bottle. As the guest of some good friends of mine, with beautiful girls sitting by my side, singing songs, and with the dispensation of etiquette, I could drink a whole barrel and then become drunk." Knowing that the satirist had given him good advice, the King of Chi ordered that all evening parties of the court be abolished.
During this and subsequent periods, humor played an important part in political intrigues. Statesmen used satire or subtle jokes to dissuade the rulers from doing anything which would be detrimental to the interests of the states and peoples. Not infrequently, philosophic truths were made obvious by comic sayings. Politicians, scholars and monks were fond of indulging in what was known as "ching tan" or refined talk which was occasionally sarcastic.
These humorous or sarcastic sayings were chiefly recorded in a famous sketchbook called "Shi Shou Hsin Yu," literally translated, "Popular Tales and New Talk." It was compiled by Prince Liu Yi-ching of the Earlier Sung dynasty, namely, 420-478 A.D. Some were also found in the chronological histories of the Northern and Southern dynasties (317-588 A.D.).
The chief sources of such philosophic or humorous talk are Lao-tze, Chwang-tse and the teachings of Buddhism. As a matter of fact, Chwang-tze was one of China's greatest humorists. His article on the pleasures enjoyed by fish is well known.
Chwang-tze and Hui-tze were walking on the bridge spanning the Hao River. Chwang-tze said, "See how the minnows dart about. That is the chief pleasure of fish." His companion replied, "You are not a fish. How then can you know the pleasure of fish?" The great humorist retorted, "You are not I, and how do you know that I do not know this?" His companion replied, "You said that I, not being you, would not know what you knew. This argument is the same as yours, that is, that you, not being a fish, would not know what consists of the pleasure of fish." The humorist finally concluded, "Now let us get back to your original question. You asked me how I would know about the pleasure of fish. Your question itself shows that you know I knew it. I knew it from my own feelings felt on this bridge."
An historical tale recounts how a clown with a high sense of humor saved the head of a magistrate. The tale shows the existence in ancient times of a keen appreciation of a joke told at a critical time to avert injustice. Emperor Chwang Tsung (923-926 A.D.) was hunting in the prefecture of Chungmou. The magistrate protested against this, his reason being that hunting at this time of the season would ruin the harvest. The Emperor was very angry and ordered the magistrate's execution. Ching Shing-mo, the favorite court jester, leading a group of actors, came onto the scene. He told the magistrate with a twinkle in his eyes, "You know that His Majesty is fond of hunting. You ought not permit the people to cultivate their lands and earn money to pay taxes. You should vacate the lands for royal hunting. You are to blame for His Majesty's anger and should be beheaded." All the actors cried in chorus. The Emperor hearing of this smiled and pardoned the magistrate.
The Sung dynasties (900-1278 A.D.), following this age of turmoil, ushered in political stability. During this period of peace, actors performing at court were allowed broad license to joke about current events, and their veiled criticism often made the Emperors and Empresses aware of social conditions. Many instances are recorded when court jesters actually initiated reforms through their jokes.
In the modern classical drama or opera, the clowns, buffoons and jesters all contributed something toward the development of the Chinese sense of humor. They did not always get away with their satirical thrusts. Sometimes when they hit too directly at exacted personages they suffered the executioner's ax.
Three hundred years ago there lived a brilliant scholar and keen commentator named Chin Sheng-tan. He wrote essays in a light vein critical of the policy of the Manchu regime. Finally he went too far and incurred the displeasure of the Imperial Court. He was sentenced to be decapitated. He told the executioner to open his clenched fists after death. In one hand was the word "Tung," in the other hand the word "Kuai." Tung means pain and Kuai quick. The two words together mean "splendid" or "well done" or "quite thrilling."
Chin Shen-tan had told his family, "This is my last will. Don't forget that when peanuts and beans are eaten together, you will get a taste as delicious as that of ham."
These are examples of Chinese humor:
THE FLATTERER AND THE HENPECKED HUSBAND
A city magistrate was highly skillful in flattering the governor of his province. One day, together with his colleagues, he paid a courtesy call on the governor. Kneeling respectfully, he presented him with a string of golden beads as a gift, remarking, "Your Excellency is my father, and I am your obedient son. I always appreciate your instructions."
Much irritated with this excessive politeness, the governor threw away the golden beads and said aloud, "Get out of here quick! " So the magistrate withdrew. His colleagues did all they could to pacify the governor.
The governor relented, saying: "The magistrate is my fellow countryman, but he is a henpecked husband. Every morning he is accustomed to kneel before his wife and present to her golden beads for her use. Whenever his wife beats him, he says, 'You are my mother, and I am your obedient son. Such a big fool! How could he have treated me in the same manner that he treats his wife? "
No sooner did the governor finish his remarks than there was heard the voice of a woman screaming behind the hall in which they were meeting. The governor was so agitated that he was not able to proceed. He told his colleagues, "Gentlemen, the conference is over. You are all excused." The voice of his wife had frightened him.
A DEAD WIFE CAN STILL SCARE HER HUSBAND
A henpecked husband lost his wife. He caused her portrait to be hung in front of the coffin. Still remembering how badly she had treated him, he shook his fist at the portrait with a triumphant air.
Suddenly there was a gust of wind which caused the portrait to move slightly. This scared the husband, and he immediately withdrew his fist, saying: "Pardon me, darling! I am just teasing you."
A HENPECKED HUSBAND FRIGHTENED TO DEATH
A number of henpecked husbands met one day to devise means to tame their cruel wives. While the meeting was in progress, a report was received that their wives, having learned the purpose of the meeting, were on their way to the meeting place.
The henpecked husbands were scared and fled. When the wives arrived, they discovered one man sitting motionless at the head of a long table. Perhaps he was not henpecked. On close examination, they found he had been frightened to death.
A FAMILY PRAYER
In the Kingdom of Wei, there lived a couple who prayed together before a shrine. They asked God to give them 100 pieces of cotton cloth. The husband whispered to his wife: "Do you think 100 pieces are quite enough?" The wife answered: "Yes, for if the amount should be too large, I'm afraid you would take a concubine."
GENERAL GORDON'S PET DOG
When Lord Li Hung-chang visited London, he paid a tribute to General Gordon's Memorial. Gordon's family presented him with a pet dog as an expression of their high appreciation for this visit.
After a few days, Li Hung-chang sent a letter of thanks which said in part: "I deeply appreciate your kindness. As I am advanced in age, I usually take little food. Therefore, I have only been able to take a very small portion of your delicious meat, which, indeed, has given me great gratification."
MINISTER WU TING-FANG'S WITTY REPLY
In 1900, Dr. Wu Ting-fang, who was Chinese minister accredited to the government of the United States, took an early morning walk along one of the streets in Washington. He wore an embroidered silk robe together with an embroidered silk jacket and a matching pair of shoes equally gorgeous.
Two American women returning from the market were walking a few yards behind him. His striking clothes attracted their attention. One woman remarked that that person ahead of them must be a Chinese woman and the other said he must be a Chinese man, calling attention to the way he was walking.
Unable to agree, they decided to put the question directly. Catching up with him, with quick steps, the first woman asked Dr. Wu, "My companion said you are a man, but I said that you are a woman. Tell us, what are you? "
The minister replied, "Both of you are right, for I am a lady's man."
AMBASSADOR SOUP
In 1896, Viceroy Li Hung-chang went to Russia on a diplomatic mission, and after its completion, visited England and America. The Viceroy was known to the West as a grand old man, a Chinese scholar, and a recognized humorist.
Crossing the English Channel, Viceroy Li traveled aboard a British vessel to show his goodwill for the country he was going to visit. Before he reached the British shore, the captain of the ship gave a dinner in his honor. An elaborate menu was prepared. The Viceroy asked his interpreter to translate the menu.
One of the items on the menu was "Ambassador soup." The Viceroy said to his secretary, "I must eat this soup to show my appreciation of the honor the Captain has shown me. I am not a good sailor and could pass up the other courses."
When the soup was served during the dinner, the Viceroy found that it was green turtle soup. He laughed and told the captain, "You have a strong sense of humor. I like this joke of yours. It is at my expense."
What the captain did not know was that to the Chinese the turtle has a bad connotation. A man whose wife is unfaithful is called a turtle.
GHOST COMPLAINANTS
The King of Hell dispatched a few of his followers to come to this world to find out who were the famous physicians. The instruction was as follows: "If there are no ghost complainants at the gate of a physician, that physician must be a very good one."
As a consequence, all the gates of physicians swarmed with ghost complainants. But, there was one physician at whose gate there was only one ghost complainant. The followers of the King of Hell said among themselves: "This physician must be a famous one."
Upon inquiry, it was found that this physician had begun to practice medicine one day before.
BEST PUNISHMENT FOR A POOR SCHOLAR
The ghost of an extremely extravagant merchant was brought before the judge in purgatory. After reviewing the kind of life he had led on earth, the judge condemned him to be born again, this time not as a merchant, but as a scholar with six children. Whereupon the associate judges protested that the punishment was mild for this bad merchant.
The judge laughed and said, "I have given this merchant a very severe punishment. He is going to be a poor scholar with six children. Later he will find it impossible to feed them and then he will wish he were dead again."
A TEACHER BARKING AND A BOATMAN WAGGING
A teacher was going home for a vacation. He chartered a boat for his journey. The boatman asked him for his venerable age. This is the usual way for a Chinese to start a conversation with a stranger.
The teacher replied that he was born in the dog year and that he was 50 years old. The boatman said, "I also was born in the dog year; why is it that there should be such a great difference of rank between us? "
The boatman then asked the teacher what moon he was born under. Moons instead of months are used in the lunar calendar. The teacher told him that he was born in the first moon. Then it dawned upon the boatman that there was a good reason for such a difference in their ranks.
"Of course, of course," he ejaculated, "No wonder. I was born in the twelfth moon of the dog year, which should be the dog's tail. That is why I have been wagging oars like a dog wagging its tail all my life. You were born in the first moon which corresponds to the dog's head. I quite understand why you have been barking like a dog all your life."
In Chinese, the sound of the word "teaching" is similar to that of the word "barking."
THE DEAF MAN WHO TRIED TO FOOL A DUMB MAN
A deaf man and a dumb man both pretended that they were free from physical infirmities. One day they met on the roadside and extended greetings to each other.
The deaf person requested the dumb person to sing a song. The dumb person made the gestures of singing. The deaf man said, "Your voice is wonderful. I have not heard your singing for a long time. Of course, meanwhile, you have made great improvement."
MONEY TALKS
Visiting a city for the first time, a stranger lost his way. He asked a dumb pedestrian to show him where the city temple was located. The dumb man used gestures to tell the stranger he would be glad to direct him if paid for the service. The stranger gave him some money, whereupon the dumb man gave him the directions by word of mouth.
The stranger asked the dumb man how he was now able to speak. "Nowadays only money talks," the man said.
THE THIEF'S EXCUSE
A magistrate of Soochow sentenced a man to prison for theft. His family secured a lawyer to appeal. The lawyer went to the prison to see his client.
The prisoner told him, "I was just walking along the street when I saw a grass rope lying on the street. No one was around. I was afraid the rope might cause an accident. Besides, it was of no use to anyone. I picked it up and took it home. For this I was taken to the court and punished."
The lawyer was indignant but cautious enough to ask his client what else he had done. The client replied, "Well, something was tied to the rope." The lawyer asked him what it was. "A very small cow," the client replied.
DOWRY OFFER ATTRACTS YOUNG MAN
A prospective mother-in-law had difficulty finding sons-in-law for her daughters. She offered dowries of $5,000 for her 20-year-old daughter, $10,000 for her 30-year-old daughter and $15,000 for her 40-year-old daughter. A would-be husband applied to marry her 50-year-old daughter.
PSYCHOLOGY OF A POOR MAN
A rich man told his poor friend, "Don't you know that my wealth amounts to a hundred thousand? "
The poor man replied, "This is not a surprise to me."
The rich man inquired, "What is the amount of your wealth? "
The poor man replied, "Although you have such an immense amount of money, you never spend anything. I, on the other hand, like to spend, although I have no money. Therefore, you and I are just the same."
THE GIFT FISH
In ancient times somebody presented some live fish to Tse Chan, the premier of Cheng. Tse Chan ordered his gardener to put the fish in his pond.
The gardener cooked and ate the fish and reported to Tse Chan, "When I released the fish, they began to swim gently; after a while, they swam vigorously and joyfully. Then they dived jubilantly to the bottom of the pond and were seen no more."
Tse Chan replied: "How happy the fish must be to be in the right place!"
A MISER TO THE END
A miser never once invited his friends to dinner with him. One day his friends entertained guests at his house. There was feasting and entertainment. A passerby asked his servant, "Is your master giving a party today? That would be a rare occasion. "
The servant replied, "If you want my master to give a party, you will have to wait until the next life." Overhearing this, the master became angry and shouted to the servant. "Fool! Who has told you to promise somebody a date for dinner? "
A TOUGH MATERIAL
A asked B what material he considered the toughest. B mentioned stone and iron. A contradicted him. "No, stones can be crushed, and iron can be melted, "he said. In my opinion, your moustache is the toughest."
B asked: "Why?" A explained: "Although your skin is so thick, your moustache has pierced it. Is not your moustache tough? "
B replied, "Your skin is still thicker and tougher for your moustache has not pierced it." (In Chinese, a thick skin implies somebody who knows no shame.)
"BETTER NOT GET UP"
A gentleman fell down. No sooner had he arisen than he fell again. After the second fall, he said to himself, "Had I only known that I would have a second fall, I would not have gotten up."
"YOU CANNOT HAVE NEW CLOTHES WITHOUT OLD ONES"
Hwuan Chung of the Tsin dynasty disliked putting on new clothes. One day his wife sent him some new garments by a maid. Hwuan was much annoyed and ordered the maid to take them back.
His wife told the maid to return the garments to Hwuan and tell him: "You cannot have an old suit unless you have a new one." Hwuan Chung smiled and accepted the new clothes.
A TRIP FOR INSPIRATION
Wang Hui-tse resided in San Ying, the scenic spot in Chekiang province. One night there was a heavy snow and Wang found the mountain view exceptionally beautiful. He began to think of his friend Tai An-tao living in the Prefecture of Yieh. He hired a small boat and sailed to Yieh, where he spent the night.
He passed through the gate of Tai An-tao without calling on Tai An-tao, then went back to San Ying. Somebody asked him why he had made the trip. Wang replied: "I went there in great inspiration. When my inspiration ceased, I came back. It was not necessary to see Mr. Tai."
HOW CAN A MAN LIVE WITHOUT BAMBOOS?
Wang Hui-tse, son of Wang Hsi-tse, the most famous calligrapher of China, once rented a house for temporary lodging and ordered his servants to plant bamboos. His friend asked him: "Since your residence here is temporary, I wonder whether it is wise to plant bamboos." Wang Hui-tse said: "How can a man live one day without bamboos? "
"NOTHING IN THE ABDOMEN"
As a certain scholar was going to take the Royal Examination, he was nervous and worried. His wife teased him, "Your writing of an essay is as difficult as my giving birth."
The scholar replied, "Maybe my essay writing is more difficult." The wife asked for the reason. He said: "When you give birth, you have something in your body. When I write, there is nothing in my mind."
DON'T WORRY
An optimistic man, asked how he managed to be happy all the time, replied, "What is the use of worry? Take my sickness for illustration. When I am sick, I get a doctor to treat me. If he cures me, well and good. If I should die, there is no reason for worry, either, for if I go to Heaven that would be fine, and if I go to Hell, I should be among congenial friends."
THE TYRANT AND THE TIGER
Confucius once passed by the foot of the Tai Mountain. There he saw a woman crying beside a newly finished grave.
The Master stopped and listened. Then he sent Tse Lu over to inquire of the mourner, saying, "You cry as if you are in great sorrow."
"True," the woman answered, "First my uncle was killed by the tiger; then my husband was killed by the tiger; and now my son has also died at the mouth of the tiger."
"Why, then," the Master asked, "don't you leave the place and go somewhere else? "
"But here there is no tyrant! " the woman replied.
Confucius turned to Tse Lu and said, "Mark it, my disciple. A tyrant is worse than a tiger."